Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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