k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
