So drunk, too bad you don't want this
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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