so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
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