I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize