i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
We need to get me chipped asap
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