I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
