woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize