? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
