Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Randomize
