Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
