watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I will pee on everything he values.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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