the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
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