If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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