its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
