There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
