how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
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