hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
