bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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