i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Randomize
