Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize