Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
