Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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