You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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