I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
