Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Boobs are out for the taking
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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