i barfeds in our rink
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Randomize
