It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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