well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
