Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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