I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
