ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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