Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
being pregnant is like rehab
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
