If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
