is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
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