is your mom at the bar?
Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
I love you.
Bad choice
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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