Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
