Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
