yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Randomize
