i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Randomize
