I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
