there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize