Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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