Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
