By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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