Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
