so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
