hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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