He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
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