I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
