thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
