I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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