we're blogging at a bar
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Randomize
