Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
