I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Randomize
