Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
