It's just like the Real World with babies
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
