How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
