I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
