Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
