Kiss
Puke
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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