FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
He felt like a one man threesome
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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