i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Drunk is not a location!
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
