please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
