just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
