I wish you could order shots online.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Randomize
