So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Randomize
