So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Can you bring me the toilet please
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize