I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Randomize
