What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Randomize
