talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
