I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I deserve this hangover.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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