She said her name was "party"
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize
