Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
